I like to be busy. No, I need to be busy. Every event, shift at work, project, and hangout is written in the lines of my spiral-bound, floral covered, personalized planner to make sure there is *something going on*. It’s like a challenge to see just how much I can get done. It makes me feel accomplished, productive, worth existing. If I have a large chunk of free time, I feel about as useful as these transparent pants. And it appears I am not the only one.
Youtube sensation Alisha Marie recently interviewed fellow web creators on just how insanely busy their lives are just to consistently create content. Many said they would lose sleep in order to stick to their deadlines. This is the sort of work ethic we as an American culture see as the goal. We are encouraged to sacrifice everything and everyone if it means achieving our dreams.
In more metropolitan areas of the US, there is a culture of running too and from work or school, but not taking a moment to converse or ask how someone is doing-there is no time. Run onto the metro, earbuds in, head down. Avoid eye contact, get where you’re going.
Although I live in a slower-paced small town, I still had this mindset. I jumped from event to event, planned out a detailed schedule, and if I saw my friends or family, great, if not, well I “succeed” at my goals. Right?
A couple of weeks ago, in one of my infamous multi-tasking moves, I went for my morning walk whilst watching a documentary. In short, it followed the life of an American pastor who moved his family to Scotland to work at a parish there. He quickly realized how different the culture was. Everything moved slowly- but it was for a reason. The people he met were focused on savoring moments, and time with friends, family, and neighbors. Over time, the pastor learned the names, the faces, the lives of each individual. He learned to walk and to be intentional with each step. No, he didn’t get more done, but he did get the most important things done.
All this to say, it changed my life. I started noticing how I tuned out family or would quickly move on if I ran into by someone I knew because I “had placed to be” instead of talking with them. I have learned to take a moment, breathe, talk. Have a conversation. Listen to someone who needs to be heard. I am continuing to learn how to use my time, or rather, how to let my time be used by people who need it.
Building meaningful relationships is never a waste of time.
Time with other people is precious- and it is worth pushing off our personal goals to make that time happen. I am learning to slow down, and walk at the pace of purposefully pursuing relationships.