Being Pregnant in College- The Importance of Community and Familial Support

If you had told me that one day I would be in my sophomore year of college while simultaneously expecting my first kid I would have stopped you right there, laughed a little, cried at the actually thought of that actually happening to me, and changed the subject. But here I am: 3 months to go, 13 credits to take, all while 30 (plus) pounds heavier.

When I found out I was pregnant three weeks into my fall semester of sophomore year, all I saw was caution tape, and a giant, red, DO NOT ENTER sign wrapped around the rest of my education. There is no way I can do it all, right? I had already taken a full workload for the semester, and knew I wanted to continue to the end of it, even though it would be challenging. The following semester though? The following years?? I did not think any of that would be possible.

When the time for academic advising came up, I had had about a month to process different options. In my mind, I would need to take the entire following semester off. After all, I was due about a week before finals, and surely giving birth wasn’t a consideration of the college when thinking about academic accommodations (Or so I thought). The possibility of being able to do well both in school, and to do the best for my baby and my family, seemed way to much to ask.

When I found out I could continue my following semester as usual, I was shocked.

I was pleasantly surprised. No, I was shocked, at what I found out when I met with my advisors. Not only were they excited for me, they actually encouraged me to take on a full workload, and gave me the push to continue as much as I could for the following semester. According to my advisors and professors, finals were the last thing I should be concerned about. They made sure to let me know that I should put the health of my baby and myself first, and that they would do everything they could to assure I could excel in my studies that semester. What?? This was NOT what I was expecting to hear, and was I overwhelmed by the support I received from my school, and my professors.

Continuing to go to school while being pregnant was a choice I wanted to make, and thankfully, I was able to make. On some level, I knew this decision would come up eventually. When I decided to go to college, I knew I wanted to go as far as I could, and I knew it was a path that God was calling me to. I also knew that if I was married and in a position to start a family, I did not want to wait more than a year or two afterward to start having kids. The timeline did not line up in my head, but I continued anyway, knowing that somehow, if it was God’s purpose, it was going to work out. And wow, it did.

Not every woman who wants to continue her education has the means to.

Although I am thankful to be able to do both, I want to recognize that not every woman can or should make the same decisions when it comes to education and raising a family. Each one has to do what is best for them and their family at the time, and their choice can majorly depend on the resources and support they have access to.

Women who want to pursue college while raising a family do not always have the means and support to be able to do so.

Women who choose not to go to college or to put college on hold in order to raise a family are not oppressed or less empowered than those who do.

Women who choose to pursue college over starting a family right away are not “less than” women who do not, nor do they have “twisted priorities”.

Without The support I had received, it would have been difficult or even impossible to continue with school.

I was able to continue going to college because I had the support from my university, their faculty, my family, and my community, which I recognize not everyone has. I did not have to worry about the financial burden of college and raising a child, which I realize is huge consideration for many women facing this decision. Without these issues taken care of, I would probably end up putting my college aspirations on pause, which was not a choice I wanted to make if I did not have to.

I am so grateful for the encouragement I had from my friends and family, and their willingness to meet some of my practical needs in order for me to continue with college and not be overwhelmed. They recognized that their ability to verbally and physically express their support made a huge difference in my life. I hope I can do the same for my friends, family, and community. I hope I can encourage others to realize that every decision a woman makes concerning building a family requires help and support from those around her, and that their actions and words really do make a difference in her life.